I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
