someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
