I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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