in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I feel great
I just peed on a car
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
