we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Terrible idea I love it
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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