So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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