yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Michael Bay diarrhea
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Randomize
