Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
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