Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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