called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We need a shit load of segways right now
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
