help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
