I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
