never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
