I accidentally had phone sex last night
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You've changed since you got that strap on
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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