Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
FUCK WHALES
Sex in the backyard? Check.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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