Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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