I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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