I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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