So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
