i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
