I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
if only i could text you this smell
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize