So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
