I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I AM VODKA MAN
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
