I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
