Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
