Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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