For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
