I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
