My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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