is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
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