your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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