If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Randomize