The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
