im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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