can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
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chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
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Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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