I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
3pm strippers are depressing
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
