I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
