I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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