No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
