Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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