I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The air taste purple.
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