I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
