you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize