I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
His hands were made for my vagina.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
