My hair reeks of homosexuality.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
3 2 1 whiskey
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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