Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
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