we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
ttyl tear gas
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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