Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
