i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
