i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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