I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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