Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
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He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
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So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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