How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
