Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
