my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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