I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
