Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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