ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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