So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
