If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
