Can Purell be used as lube?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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