The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
