All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
