My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
