This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just googled if crying burns calories
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
