I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize