everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Two words: nipple clamps
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