girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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