smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
