I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
