That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
