no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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