i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
