just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
